Recipe

The Paloma — Patrón and Squirt

Name: The Paloma — Patrón and Squirt
Prep time: 2 min
Total time: 2 min
Yield: Makes 1
Cuisine: Mexican
Ingredients: 2 oz silver tequila — 100% de agave, and it says so on the bottle; 1 bottle Mexican Squirt, 355 ml, cold — the glass one; 1/2 a lime, plus a wedge; Coarse salt, for the rim; Ice, and a lot of it; 1/2 oz fresh pink grapefruit juice, on top of the soda; A pinch of salt IN the drink, not only on the rim; A grapefruit peel, for the oil

current situation: the two bottles that are in half the photographs on this site

Tequila and Squirt. That is the whole drink. I have been making it for years and I have never once put the name on it, and apparently it is standing in the background of thirteen pictures on this site.

It is called a Paloma. Down in Mexico this is the one everybody actually drinks. The margarita is the tourist one.

Get the Mexican Squirt. The glass bottle, 355 ml, hecho en México — look at the picture. That one is made with cane sugar. The can they sell here is corn syrup and it tastes like nothing once there is good tequila in it.

Makes: 1
Hands-on: 2 minutes
Tequila: Silver, 100% agave
Squirt: Glass bottle, from Mexico

Two minutes. The only preparation is having bought the right bottle of soda.

Patrón, Squirt and a shot glass on the counter — Shot the night it was made. Open any picture for the full photograph.

Two Patrón bottles, Squirt and banana peppers — Shot the night it was made. Open any picture for the full photograph.

What you need

The glass

2 oz silver tequila — 100% de agave, and it says so on the bottle
1 bottle Mexican Squirt, 355 ml, cold — the glass one
1/2 a lime, plus a wedge
Coarse salt, for the rim
Ice, and a lot of it

If you want to build it properly

1/2 oz fresh pink grapefruit juice, on top of the soda
A pinch of salt IN the drink, not only on the rim
A grapefruit peel, for the oil

How it goes

1 — 100% agave or do not bother
If the bottle does not say 100% de agave it is a mixto — up to half of it is other sugars, and that is where tequila headaches come from. Get silver, not reposado. The barrel gets in the way of the grapefruit.
2 — Salt the rim with the lime, not with water
Run the cut lime round the outside of the rim and roll it in coarse salt on a plate. Outside only, so the salt does not fall in and make the whole drink salty by the third mouthful.
3 — Fill the glass with ice first
All the way. A full glass melts slower than three cubes rattling about. Half fill it and you are drinking grapefruit water in ten minutes.
4 — Tequila in, then the lime
Two ounces over the ice, then half a lime squeezed straight in. The Squirt is already sweet. Without the lime you have got soda with tequila in it.
5 — Top with the Squirt, and pour it down the side
Slowly, down the inside of the glass against the ice. Poured straight in from height it loses its carbonation in about four seconds and goes flat before you have picked it up.
pro tip — Cold soda into a cold glass. A room-temperature bottle foams over and you lose a third of it on the counter.
6 — One stir, from the bottom
A bar spoon or a knife, one slow turn to lift the tequila off the bottom. Any more and you are shaking the gas out of it on purpose.
7 — A pinch of salt in the drink
Not traditional in every house and it is the thing that makes it. A few grains and the grapefruit tastes more like grapefruit. Salt does that to everything.
8 — Lime wedge, and drink it now
It is at its best in the first five minutes while the ice is still square. This is not a drink to carry around.

Guilty as charged

Eleven dishes with documentary evidence that I pair them with a Paloma. Not suggestions — every one of these is in the same photograph somewhere in this archive.

Ribeye with Fried Onions, Blistered Tomatoes and a Smashed PotatoThe most documented pairing on this site. Fat, salt and char against something cold and sour — this is the one the drink is for.
Two-Inch Ribeye with Brie and Roasted Red PeppersTwo inches of ribeye with a slab of brie melting on it. Grapefruit is the only thing on the table cutting through that.
Ribeye with Fried Onions and Soy Au JusTwo steaks resting in their own juices with the bottles behind them. Salt and soy, so the drink has to bring the acid.
Ribeye FajitasSour cream, paprika and charred peppers. A Paloma does what a lime wedge does, for longer.
Brie Burgers on Homemade BunsA seven-ounce patty under a wedge of brie at $2.75. Rich enough that a beer gives up halfway.
Baked Brie with Chilli AppleA whole wheel gone liquid with chilli on it. Sweet, hot, fatty — and then something bitter and cold.
Spicy Fried Chicken with Hollandaise and CranberryCayenne-fried chicken under hollandaise, which is fat on fat. The grapefruit is structural here, not decorative.
Fish and ChipsEverything on the plate came out of hot oil. Tequila and citrus is doing the job vinegar does.
Macaroni CheeseA cheeseburger and a dish of macaroni cheese at the drawing desk, bottles in shot. I called it a cleanse.
Ribeye Cutlets over Pork Fried RiceSoy, sesame and Thai chillies, with ribeye sliced over the top. The one time it goes up against real heat.
Pumpkin Pecan PieThis one I cannot explain. The bottles are simply there, beside a tin of pumpkin filling, and I am reporting it.

Been making this for years and never wrote it down. Here it is. LFG.

More of what comes out of this kitchen on the food wall.

Every picture on this page is one of mine. I paint for a living the rest of the time — that is the gallery, and the originals are for sale.

What you need

The glass

If you want to build it properly

How it goes

1 — 100% agave or do not bother

2 — Salt the rim with the lime, not with water

3 — Fill the glass with ice first

4 — Tequila in, then the lime

5 — Top with the Squirt, and pour it down the side

6 — One stir, from the bottom

7 — A pinch of salt in the drink

8 — Lime wedge, and drink it now

Guilty as charged